Pushing the boundaries of genetically modified animal rese..

External Since: Apr 25, 2005 Posts: 6

This message is not archived

External Since: Jul 13, 2005 Posts: 1380

Nice troll.

Well done! Wink

In article <2131.DeleteThis@160093592.309932334.12094.29689.7032>,
DZ <13517.DeleteThis@249732209.1607426928.5318.18606.11503> wrote:

> Press Release
>
> LONDON -- Ground meat of genetically altered baby seals added to the
> mash of embryonic stem cells, lutefisk, Norwegian "Gammelost" cheese,
> and bran with added proprietary ingredients appear to nourish
> mysterious cell organelles called mitochondria, scientists reported
> Monday in the Journal of Theoretical Behind.
>
> Mitochondria can finally be maintained outside the cell and bred in
> captivity, the first experiment of this kind revealed.
>
> "Normal mitochondria are visible as furry little creatures reminiscent
> of kiwi fruit when stained and viewed in the light microscope" --
> explains John Hadov, Principal Investigator at Broom Closet Research
> Labs, MerckyPhizer Inc.
>
> Professor Hadov is the first scientist whose pioneering research
> succeeded in maintaining a culture of human mitochondria outside its
> normal environment - the human cell.
>
> Professor Hadov shows a big container swarming with fairly hairy,
> orange and pink colored animals the size of a Grade A egg. "They can
> grow very large when not constrained by the cell wall. If not for the
> unusual color and rapid locomotion, they could be easily mistaken for
> the actual kiwi fruit", he explains.
>
> Mitochondria differ from other cell organelles in that they contain
> their own DNA. According to the endosymbiotic theory, mitochondria
> originated as prokaryotic cell parasites. During the evolution of
> eukaryotic cell mitochondria ancestors not only assuaged their
> virulence but eventually became an integral part of the cell,
> providing essential functions, including aerobic respiration and
> production of ATP - the main source of cell energy.
>
> But Hadov and other experts at BCR cautioned that free-living
> mitochondria are wild and fierce creatures capable of fast
> reproduction. The population is closely monitored for unpredictable
> mutations that would possibly allow mitochondria to escape the
> laboratory conditions and live in the outside environment.
>
> Concluding the interview, Professor Hadov, dressed in formal Rotary
> International uniform complete with medals affirmed:
>
> "We very much look forward to further studies. It is possible that a
> genetically modified mitochondria clone can be used as food for
> athletes and health conscious individuals, because it is literally
> packed with vitamins and other essential ingredients."
>
> The mitochondria clones will also possibly be released into
> environment to populate and treat raw human sewage.
--
Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson